[Below is my narration of this entry of An Orc’s Life. I’m doing this mainly so I can improve my voice, but if you all end up liking it, that’s cool too. I did not even attempt to edit this, and it was my first attempt, read without stopping. Now that my qualifiers are out of the way, let me know what you think.]
Much time has passed since the night I got plastered after having my ass handed to me by an overgrown insect. In many ways, I am not the same Orc anymore. That following morning I woke up to a Whiterun guard yelling at me to get up, which I thought was rather rude till I discovered I was not in my room at the Bannered Mare, but in a tent I had drunkenly constructed in front of the main gate the night before. A little embarrassed, and a lot hungover, I packed up my tent and left to get some breakfast.
Later that day as I was still sifting through my foggy memories, I recalled that I spoke with a Dark Elf mercenary named Jenassa, whom I was going to try and hire for my trek into Dead Men’s Respite. No doubt I made a poor first impression with her. I could hardly stay upright, falling down more than once, and I seem to remember reciting a dirty limerick about Dark Elves that was popular among the Orcs I grew up with. I hoped her only motivation for taking jobs was having enough coin.
I had walked back into the Drunken Huntsman and apologized profusely to her, but when I tried to hire her, she refused. But not for the reason I was thinking. She said she wouldn’t accompany me because I was “too green.” I mentioned again I was sorry about the limerick, but told her it seemed kind of petty to turn down my gold just because I’m an Orc. After being called an idiot, Jenassa explained to me that “too green” simply meant fresh; unexperienced.
Going into Deadmen’s Respite would be dangerous enough with two well-trained fighters, she elaborated, let alone one, plus a stringbean of an Orc who can’t even hold his liquor (her words, not mine). But, I couldn’t argue with her. If what lays in Dead Men’s Respite is as horrible as I believe it to be, there wouldn’t be much I could do to defend Jenassa. Regardless of whether or not I hired Jenassa, I decided I needed to be better prepared myself. So, as was becoming tradition, I packed up my animals and we left Whiterun.
I had always been a firm believer in the expression “the pen is mightier than the sword,” but I’d like to find the man who can fend off sabre cats and bandits with ink and paper. My mind had always been set on becoming a bard, but I gained a new appreciation for combat skills during my roamings. I spent months travelling, camping under the stars, spelunking, and all the while strengthening my mace arm on all those unlucky enough to tangle with me. To his credit, Meeko helped too.
All of this did much to inspire my confidence, but it wasn’t till my tussle with a giant that I knew I was ready to brave Dead Men’s Respite.
“Hold up. You fought a giant? And lived?”
A circle of patrons in the Bannered Mare are gathered around me, listening silently as I recount my tale. I see that it is an older man that asked about the giant. Even though his face is hidden under copious amounts of white beard hair, I can still make out his incredulous expression.
Yes. I not only fought a giant – I killed a giant. I undo the string on one of my bags to produce a large shriveled toe, which I place on the table to the sound of ooos, ahhs, and one gasp.
I had just started to make camp one cloudy night when Meeko bounded off, barking at Malacath knows what. I chased after him, worried that the night life might decide to take a bite out of him. I heard something ahead of me, so I ran in that direction, and paused by a lumpy bit of rock to catch my breath.
I hear someone in the circle inhale sharply.
Well, the rock was indeed no rock at all. A very groggy and angry giant growled at me while rising to its full height, easily twice my size. I turned and ran the way I came, but was knocked to the ground from the force of a near miss from the giant’s club. There was no escaping him. I had to fight. Luckily, I hadn’t yet taken my armor off, so I took up my mace and stood my ground as the giant faced me.
He swung his club at me, and I rolled out of the way just in time. I bashed him with my shield, staggering him, while I assaulted his rib cage with Molyngar, my powerful mace. The giant let out an ear-splitting roar and kneed me in the chest so hard that it lifted me off the ground. I dropped to my knees, gasping for breath, because he had sufficiently knocked the wind out of me. Through my clouded vision I saw the gargantuan bone club speeding toward me again.
Instinctively, I threw up my shield. The power of the blow laid me flat on my back, dented my shield, and effectively crippled my arm. This triggered my berserker rage, and I immediately felt the surge of power coursing through my muscles. The giant reared his club back once more, but I was ready this time. I threw myself underneath the giant’s legs, sprang up, and buried my mace into the giant’s spine, causing an eruption of blood to spray forth. It was the giant’s turn to fall to its knees. I unlodged Molyngar from its spine, walked around to the front of the giant, and smashed Molyngar so mightily into its head, that the force snapped its neck, and the giant collapsed into a red and gray heap on the ground.
Well, it’s time for me to hit the hay, I announce to my speechless audience. Tomorrow I gather my companions and head to Dead Men’s Respite. I crack a smile as I’m walking up the stairs to my room when I hear a woman proclaim to her friends, “The bards will surely tell tales of such a deed.” Yes, and one already has: me.
Next time on An Orc’s Life: The Fellowship of the Verse
I actually wrote another entry for An Orc’s Life. It’s not the most Earth-shattering thing that will happen today, but probably close to it. It felt good to write again. I will continue to make posts, but I know too well by now not to regulate the interval at which I do. So, yeah, they’ll come out when they come out. Sorry. Follow Grawnk on twitter if you’d like to receive updates on this blog. It’s nice to be back, ya’ll. – Kit
Oh, and I hope you like the new design too.
– Update –
I added a page called Posts that has all of my “An Orc’s Life” posts in it.
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