An Orc’s Life, Part 15: Bandit Buffoonery

[Below is my narration for this entry.]


Once we return to our campsite and finish packing everything up, we leave the rats behind us but face the most obvious bandit blockade in front of us.

Where's Smokey?
Are you guys even trying anymore?

So obvious, in fact, that my eager traveling companions take up their weapons before the bandits themselves have even set eyes on us. And unfortunately for these bandits, putting down Skyrim’s riffraff has become old hat. When they finally see our proactive party rushing at them, it’s too late. They are hewed down like the saplings they are.

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An Orc’s Life, Part 10: The Road So Far

[Below is my narration of this entry of An Orc’s Life. I’m doing this mainly so I can improve my voice, but if you all end up liking it, that’s cool too. I did not even attempt to edit this, and it was my first attempt, read without stopping. Now that my qualifiers are out of the way, let me know what you think.]

Much time has passed since the night I got plastered after having my ass handed to me by an overgrown insect. In many ways, I am not the same Orc anymore. That following morning I woke up to a Whiterun guard yelling at me to get up, which I thought was rather rude till I discovered I was not in my room at the Bannered Mare, but in a tent I had drunkenly constructed in front of the main gate the night before. A little embarrassed, and a lot hungover, I packed up my tent and left to get some breakfast.

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An Orc’s Life, Part 7: Markarth: Portrait of a City

Bet you can’t find Grawnk and Meeko. (they really are in the screen shot)

So it would appear I not only have bad timing walking into places, catching townsfolk arguing, but also watching them die. First, I walked into Solitude as someone was getting beheaded, and now I have walked into Markarth to someone getting stabbed.

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An Orc’s Life, Day 4: The Road to Solitude

[Below is my narration of this entry.]

Instead of my usual morning lethargy, my eyes pop open, and I spring out of bed. Today is different. Today I step foot into Solitude. Well, hopefully anyway. Any number of things could get in my way and – no. What am I saying? Before the end of the day, I will walk within Solitude’s walls no matter what. Bandits, wolves, horkers, or even Frost Troll hit squads be damned. Get ready people of Solitude; Grawnk’s a’ comin’. With my mind resolutely made up, I charge out of Morthal like a green comet collectedly make my way to the edge of town. When I make it back ♪ on the road again, ♪ I observe an oddly colored cow heading the opposite direction.

Cow are you?

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An Orc’s Life, Day 3: The Wrath of Grawnk

King Grawnk commands you to bring him the head of every bandit in Skyrim.

[Below is my narration for this entry. Hope you enjoy.]

I was just having the most wonderful dream. If only I could remember what it was about. I’m fairly certain the bandits from yesterday were in it. No more time to waste in bed, though. I only have one more thing to do in Dawnstar, and that’s to try and find a potion of cure disease for my Rockjoint. I head over to the local potion pub and find that they do have a potion of cure disease…for 244 gold. A little too rich for my Orc blood. I notice there is a recipe to make the same potion, however, so I opt for that instead. It requires Mudcrab Chitin and Vampire Dust. The Vampire Dust is 77 gold, but that still beats 244, so I buy it. If only I hadn’t eaten the Chitin I harvested yesterday. Make that two things I have to do before leaving Dawnstar now. I don my new armor and walk along the coast in the opposite direction from yesterday, trolling for mudcrabs.

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